Pruning the Weeds – Making Space for the Right Relationships

By Ralph Schonenbach, Former Consultant with Andersen Business Consulting , Author, CEO and Founder of Meerkat

We all want to surround ourselves with great people—but sometimes, the real growth comes from walking away.

In Relationships Matter, I talk about the importance of nurturing the relationships that inspire, energize, and challenge us to grow. But there’s a lesser-discussed truth: not all relationships are worth keeping.

Just like a garden needs sunlight, water, and care, it also needs weeding. Some people, despite proximity or history, drain us more than they support us. They occupy space that could be filled by those who truly matter.

In the book, I describe five types of “weeds” to watch out for in your network:

1. Takers

They leave you feeling drained. These individuals constantly ask for help, attention, or resources—but rarely show up when you need them.

2. Naysayers

They see problems in every possibility. Often under the guise of “being realistic,” they sap your enthusiasm and confidence.

3. Non-Engagers

There’s no spark, no effort, no curiosity. They’re in your life, but not present in any meaningful way.

4. Opportunity Seekers

These relationships are purely transactional. They appear when they need something—and disappear once they’ve gotten it.

5. Trouble Makers

They stir conflict or create tension, often distracting you from what really matters. Their presence complicates instead of calms.

Pruning doesn’t mean cutting people off without compassion. It’s about setting boundaries, prioritizing your emotional health, and creating space for deeper, more fulfilling relationships.

So, here’s a question I often reflect on:

• Does this relationship give me energy—or take it away?
• Am I growing in their presence—or shrinking to stay connected?

Your relationships matter. And so do you.

Choose wisely. Prune gently. Grow intentionally.