The Disappearing Act of Our Connections

By Ralph Schonenbach Former Consultant Andersen Business Consulting , Founder and CEO of Meerkat, Inc.

When I wrote Relationships Matter and in past newsletters, I emphasized the value of engaging with our networks. A recent article in Fast Company brought something into focus that many of us have sensed but not fully understood: our networks’ content is being deprioritized and replaced with content from people we do not know, served up by algorithms.

The numbers tell the story. According to the article, on Facebook, users now spend only 17% of their time viewing posts from friends, and on Instagram, it is just 7%. Meta even found that when they increased friend-generated content, overall time spent on the platform decreased. In contrast, short-form, AI-recommended videos drove engagement up, which is why we see more of them.

This shift is not surprising, but it is concerning. What was once recognized as a social network has become social media, minus the social aspect. Facebook, Meta, and TikTok are no longer places to stay connected. They are closer to Netflix on steroids, built for endless consumption. Scrolling might entertain us, but it does little to nurture our relationships, and over time, it chips away at our well-being.

Professional vs. Personal Connections

It helps to separate professional and personal relationships, while acknowledging that there is often overlap.

  • LinkedIn still delivers steady engagement. Posts typically see 2.8–3.8% engagement rates, and formats like carousels and documents can reach 6% or higher. About 40% of LinkedIn users engage weekly, showing that professional networks remain active and visible.
  • Personal networks are a different story. Friends and family posts are buried under algorithmic recommendations, leaving fewer natural touchpoints, fewer spontaneous moments, and fewer chances to stay close to the people we value most.

Where Did Everyone Go?

For years, I have wondered why so many people I know no longer show up on Facebook or Instagram. I assumed they were tired of the platforms and stopped posting. But now I see it differently.

  • They may still be posting, but I do not see it, so they assume I am not engaging.
  • Or they stopped posting because no one was engaging with them in the first place.

Either way, it is not their fault. The system is designed to reward entertainment over connection.

And that is the real point. I used to believe that when I connected with someone online, I was “in touch” and aware of what was happening in their lives. The truth is that I am not. Updates are buried, hidden by design, and replaced by content that has nothing to do with my actual relationships.

Choosing What Matters

This made me stop and think. How many relationships have slipped away, not because they lost importance, but because they were buried under a feed I no longer control? I thought I was connected. In reality, I was scrolling through distractions while real connections faded in the background.

So this weekend, I am going back through my friends list and reaching out to people I have not seen or heard from in years. Not out of nostalgia, but because these are relationships that shaped who I am. Letting them fade because an algorithm chose profit over people feels like giving away something too valuable to lose.

In the end, platforms will keep chasing our attention. The real question is whether we allow them to decide what matters.

For me, the answer is clear. Relationships still matter most.

and here's a link to the article: https://www.fastcompany.com/91386830/meta-social-media-ftc-monopoly-response

Ralph Schonenbach is an entrepreneur, author, and relationship expert with over two decades of global experience. As the author of Relationships Matter, he offers practical strategies to foster meaningful connections, combining deep personal insights with actionable advice. With a strong consulting, leadership, and product development background, Ralph has helped individuals and organizations enhance their networks and achieve lasting success. Passionate about personal and professional growth, he enjoys writing, international travel, and meeting new people, continuously advocating for the power of relationships in creating impactful opportunities.