I Am Finding It Difficult to Follow My Own Guidelines

By Ed Maier, Former Andersen Partner

The title on this piece has been bugging me for a while. In the fifteen years that I have been privileged to write to you in this newsletter, I have always believed that I should model any behaviors that I encourage you to consider. Lately, that has become challenging for me. To motivate me to improve my own behavior, I am writing you again about one of the fundamental behaviors all of us learned in our time with Arthur Andersen. I am referring to our founder’s “favorite saying” – Think straight. Talk straight.

I wrote to you a few months back about two volunteer organizations in which I participate. They are both devoted to the concept of reducing polarization in our society. In one, the focus is on matters of race. In the other, the focus is on the political divide – conservative vs. progressive, or simply red vs. blue. In working with both organizations, I have been learning and observing similar guidelines which I can relate back to the TSTS concept. But as I reflect on some of my own recent conversations, I do not always follow them. I have allowed polarizing topics to get the best of my emotions. Bear with me as I use this newsletter piece to remind us of these guidelines. Hopefully, my self-catharsis in writing this piece may help you also.

Think Straight--

Gather and understand the facts. When faced with this, or any other problem, I must assemble the relevant facts to help my thinking process and to make my decisions. I must verify facts as much as possible. I need to frame my decisions based on the facts as I understand them. When I gather data, I should use reliable sources.

Understand the context. I need to recognize that the same facts may have different meanings in a different context. Facts and information that I obtain can be “spun” to support their source. I should do a better job to verify the sources of information. In some cases, I should compare my source to other reliable sources. Context counts and I must make sure I understand the context in which data is presented before blindly relying on it.

Avoid noise and fluff. There is always a great deal of “noise” in our system, even more so today. I must insulate myself against the noise while seeking out the factual pieces that the noise surrounds. I must filter through it; throw out the hyperbole. One of the ways I try to do this is to only rely on sources that I trust for information I receive. I need to screen new messages I receive against those sources to attempt to establish their veracity.

Keep it simple. I deeply believe in this principle because even the most complex facts can be broken down into simpler parts. I need to work harder at doing so. I know this will help me clear the air and focus on what is relevant. I have pretty good analytical and data-gathering skills. I need to make sure that I use them to reduce complexities.

Listen straight – Again, I will refer you to Stephen Covey. In his book “The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People”, Habit #5 was “Seek first to understand, then to be understood”. I cannot expect to be understood if at first, I do not understand the other party. My primary role as a good listener is to understand and respect the other party’s point of view. I must understand the assumptions that they have made in drawing their conclusions about their facts.

Talk Straight—

Understand Your Audience. Before I begin speaking, I need to understand the person(s) to whom I am speaking. I need to inquire of them what their points of view or positions are. I need to ask them to present and explain their facts. I cannot assume their sources, though they may be different than mine, are impeachable. I cannot make assumptions about their beliefs based upon their lifestyle, their job, their political leanings, or their affiliations.

Tell it like it is. I must carefully and non-argumentatively present my understanding of the facts that support my conclusions. I must explain the context in which I understand the problem, outline or summarize the facts I have gathered, share the sources of my facts and present my conclusions succinctly and without expressing frustration. I must not sugarcoat my facts or my point of view. I must not try to “spin” my conclusions. I must be honest, even if my message might cause pain.

Keep it simple. I must be brief and to the point. I should carefully add facts and context but not attempt to overwhelm the other. If someone asks me the time of day, I should just tell them—not build them a clock.

Ask if you are understood. I should ask my listener if they understand what I have said. I should clarify my message with a few questions to validate that they do. Two people can look at the same sky, yet one sees it as partly sunny while the other sees it as partly cloudy. In today’s environment, two people can look at the same set of economic statistics or climate change trends and draw significantly different conclusions. In the proper circumstances, I should remember it can be helpful to ask my listener to restate my message in their own words. I can also use this technique in reverse to show them that I understand their point of view. I must remember to do my best to ensure that my listener understands my communication—not agrees with it; just understands it.

Consider the other’s perspective. It is easy to say this step, but it can be difficult to remove my own thoughts and beliefs while trying to understand another’s perspective. But if I am going to live up to my principles, I must think about the value of their point of view and how it can affect mine. To truly “Talk Straight” I must demonstrate that I consider them. If, in the moment, they present me with data that can impact or alter my own conclusion, I must acknowledge that.

Be courteous, be respectful, be thankful. I must be thoughtful and polite as I listen to points of view of others. I must respect their viewpoint. One of the partners I worked for early in my career was masterful at this. I worked with him on several occasions. Looking back on some of the mistakes I made, I often wonder how he did not lose patience with me. But he always treated me with respect; he listened to my rather un-intelligent questions; he carefully and thoughtfully explained things to me; he often analogized complex business issues to other concepts that were easier to understand. And he regularly thanked me for my input, even when he did not accept it.

Manage your emotions. In any conversation, no matter how passionate it is, I must control my emotions. And I must not try to control the emotions of others. Every time I want to jump in and interrupt or “correct” them, I need to think before I speak. Stephen Covey said that one should not just immediately react when things happen. I must slow down my thinking. I must plan my actions or reactions. Only then should I act.

I have one final thought for you. Take care of yourself. You cannot fulfill your responsibilities to others without fulfilling your responsibilities to yourself. The pressures and stresses you feel today quite possibly are unlike anything you have felt in the past. Most of the impact of the pandemic is now behind us. But the increasing polarization in our society challenges all of us in different ways. I must regularly remind myself that first and foremost I should take care of my own physical and mental well-being. I cannot take “sound mind” and good health for granted. I need to work at it. Whatever steps you take to help you take care of yourself –be it exercise, meditation, prayer or just some “alone time”—please do so regularly.

My best to each of you. Stay well. Stay healthy. Stay safe.

As always, I am interested in your thoughts and I would love to hear some of them. Don’t hesitate to write me at edmaier46@gmail.com. And, if you enjoy what I write, there is more of it at “Think Straight. Talk Straight.” available on www.Amazon.com.